I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
In other news, I just burned my penis
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
