non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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