# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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