and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Ketchup is God's man juice
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
