So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
