she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
