So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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