you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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