Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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