I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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