but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
