Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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