I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
