she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
