im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
My vagina just recognized that song.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
