I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Randomize
