she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize