I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
