halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
