A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
