dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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