return my video game
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
