thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
