you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
