Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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