Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
