I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
