Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
