jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
