woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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