Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
