Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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