Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize