For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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