Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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