I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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