thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
