I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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