and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She's just so happy...and so naked.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
