she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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