Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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