Pregnant stripper...not hot.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
