we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
