so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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