I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
