I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
this beer tastes like vomit already
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
