3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
