watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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