He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
