ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
