Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
