wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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