I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
