4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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