she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
