No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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