Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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