And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
