I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
